Testing My Twins
By: Clair Needell Hollander
This article focuses on the decrease of test scores and the strange relationship between of test scores between the identical twins. The identical twins in this article have previously displayed identical scores including the subsections. But a recent identical drop in test scores has been brought to attention.
Diction:
Since this article focuses on the poor performance on test scores, Hollander uses a lot of pejorative diction like "disturbing" and "diminished". When I hear disturbing it creates the feeling of shock and surprise especially in this article. It leads me to believe the case of low test scores is out of the ordinary. Diminished tends to have a negative connotation describing the fading away something and in this situation, it is the high achieving test scores. The majority of the article uses pejorative diction to describe the possible external situation which could have contributed to the poor test scores.
Imagery:
The twin are highly performing kids who have a tendency to be reading all the time going again their house rules. There are a lot places throughout this article that brought images in my head. For example, when Hollander said the "...teenage sister, who routinely pounds on the door yelling…" brings the image of sibling fights that take place. I think Hollander's technique of focusing on issues that tend to happen in the daily lives of people helps the reader connect with the article. Since many household have sibling rivalry this makes the article more relatable which brings an image into the readers mind. Another image brought into my head was the description that said, "...wilted lettuce and bruised fruit...". Again, Hollander sticks to common things that typically families are used.
Syntax:
At points in this article, I felt like I always almost getting preached. How sentence are formed and their length impacts the readers feelings toward a given topic or about the article. For example, "We need to always be striving. We need to be energized by thoughtful analysis of our successes and failures". I feeling these sentence sounds like I am being lectured to do something. I think the structure contributes of the tone of the these sentences which in my opinion comes off too forceful.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/21/opinion/sunday/testing-my-twins.html?ref=opinion&_r=0&pagewanted=print
I like how you set this post up. I did mine in a paper format, but this is different, and I like it! Also, I almost did this one for my close reading, but I wasn't sure how to go about using DIDLS. When I read it, I agree that it fees like you are being preached too. You did a great job, and I like your personal opinions.
ReplyDeleteI see that you are providing more consistent examples, as your peer reviewers last time suggested--good work on that. Also work toward consistent warrants--explaining WHY your examples prove what you say they prove. =)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to be writing this in a format more close to that of the AP exam--this is our only real practice for actually writing our essays, so try putting it in a more AP format. I think you did an okay job explaining diction, but you need to pull out more examples I find diction to be the easiest part of close reading; you'll have no trouble finding numerous worthy examples. For imagery, you point out examples, but you don't actually explain what they are doing. Like Ms. Holmes said, warrants are important. You need to work on syntax the most of this group. Syntax is grammar and the word order in a sentence. You were really pulling out diction. The reason it sounded forceful was the use of the pronoun "we" and the verb "need". So basically you can pull out notable examples, you just need to analyze them better. :)
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